Anguished English


Yaacov Apelbaum - Anguished English

“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” (from Measure For Measure)

Getting bombarded by Phishers is no fun but sometimes these communications offer some comic relief. This posting is dedicated to the anguished English and linguistic jewels they produce. May the tormented ghost of Shakespeare continue to sabotage their exploits.

Here are my top ten favorites:

  1. Starting the message in one language and then switching to another as in “Dear Cliente,”
  2. Getting subject verb agreement wrong as in “Your account just make…”
  3. Poor punctuation as in “Due to concerns, for safety and the integrity…”
  4. Nonsense content as in “Most of your date in our database were encrypted…”
  5. Poor formatting as in missing a space after a period.that’s right.
  6. Wrong capitalization as in “This is the Last reminder…”
  7. Poor grammar as in “If this message sent as Junk or Spam, its just an error…”
  8. Excessive use of exclamation marks as in “Update Required!!”
  9. Poor spelling as in “It has come to out [our] attention that…”
  10. Failure to do basic arithmetic accurately as in “$254.99 + $20.00 = $374.99”


Yaacov Apelbaum-Anguished English PayPal 1


Yaacov Apelbaum-Anguished English PayPal 2


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Yaacov Apelbaum-Anguished English PayPal 9

References and Sourcing
XRVision Sentinel AI Platform – Face recognition, image reconstruction, and object detection

© Copyright 2016 Yaacov Apelbaum, All Rights Reserved.

11 thoughts on “Anguished English

  1. Thanks for sharing this post.

    Just a reminder that at PayPal, we won’t send you an email asking you to give us any of the following:

    • your full bank or credit card number
    • your debit card PIN number
    • your entire driver’s license numbers
    • a listing of your email addresses
    • a listing of your physical (street) addresses
    • your full name
    • your password (to PayPal or any other account)
    • the answers to your security questions

  2. I was wondering if you ever thought of changing the structure of your website? Its very well written; But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. You’ve got an awful lot of text and only 1 or two pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

  3. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to more history posts. Great job on the “How Tall is the Staff of Ra?”

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