It’s All About Climate Change, Man!

Satyricon 2019

This year’s Google Camp will be hosting a summit with the biggest names in show biz, politics, high-tech, music, and fashion. It will include notables such as former President Obama, Leonardo DiCaprio, Prince Harry, Orlando Bloom, Harry Styles, Bradley Cooper, Nick Jonas, Priyanka Chopra, Gayle King, Mark Zuckerberg, Diane von Furstenberg, Katy Perry, and many others.

The event is taking place at the 5-star Verdure resort in Sicily. Due to the high prestige and number of guests, the hotel is fully booked, and room prices start at $930 per night.

The all-expenses-paid, three-day event hosted by Google, will cost about $20 million which comes to about $33K per person, per day. The estimated 120-200 participants will discuss urgent global issues such as on-line user data privacy, freedom of speech, and global warming. The main focus of the event will be climate change, which, according to several of the attending subject-matter experts is the biggest threat to the world and our future generations.

The guests will be arriving at the event over the next 12 hours in 116 private jets and the world’s largest private megayachts. The estimated combined carbon footprint output from the resort activity and travel to and from the three-day event will be equivalent to the yearly carbon production of over 900K US households.

A Flight and a Dinner
Image 1: A dinner and a show at the Temple of Hera and private jets delivering the summit attendees

In the spirit of openness, Google went the extra mile to keep all resort activity a secret, all support, hotel, and security staff signed restrictive non-disclosure agreements prohibiting them from discussing or taking any images of the events and participants.

And yes, as the video analytics reveals, the environmentally-conscious guests are using plastic straws for sipping their very expensive, Google sponsored cocktails.

It's All About the Climate Man
Image 2: The Carbon footprint of David Geffen and Katy Perry, two of the over 140 Google climate change summit attendees

But WAIT! What did I just hear? Google doesn’t get its 260-400 million watts of energy (2-4 percent of the world’s electricity) from unicorn powered wind farms and eco-friendly solar panels? And it’s responsible for 1.5-3 million metric tons of carbon dioxide emissions every year, which is about 20%-40% of the internet carbon footprint?

I’m Shocked, SHOCKED!

To the legions of the woke, if you haven’t caught up yet, you are looking at corporate greed incarnate. Where environmental disasters like the BP Deepwater Horizon or Union Carbide/Dow Bhopal were terrible but isolated events that could be attributed to human error or gross negligence, Google’s entire business model is based on a carefully executed global human and environmental exploitation.

Aren’t you a bit curious how is it that social media giants the likes of Google, Twitter, and Facebook spend hundreds of millions of dollars on software development, hardware, and pay astronomical electric bills for their worldwide datacenter operations, and still make billions in profit all while offering these services for free?

At the end of the day, this whole climate change summit thingy is just a cynical PR move to hide the fact that Google can’t burn fossil fuel fast enough to power its worldwide data center expansion which since 2016 have been working overtime to promote fake news via their ad-sense cash cow, while at the same time, destroying whatever little is left of privacy and suppressing free speech.

You can also group all of the Gretas and other progressive campaigns and slogans with the climate rhetoric. It doesn’t really matter if it’s Beef is Murder or some other trendy gimmick. You can be certain that if it looks good, it tastes good, or feels good, most the celebrity role models are doing/having it on a wholesale scale.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Beef
Image 3
: Leonardo DiCaprio’s important work on reducing beef consumption

So next time the likes of Google or a celebrity tells you just how important climate change is (or gives you any moral advice) and asks you to donate to their foundation, tell them that you are open to learning more about it over dinner at the all-expense-paid outing on their private jet or megayacht.

 


Sources
Green private jets? Don’t make me laugh
Daily emissions of cruise ships same as one million cars
Google accounts for about 40% of the Internet’s carbon footprint
Google isn’t actually tackling fake news content on its ad network
The more outrageous, the better: How ad-sense makes money for fake news sites

Copyright 2019 Yaacov Apelbaum, All Rights Reserved.

6 thoughts on “It’s All About Climate Change, Man!

  1. The least Google could have done would have been to contact Trump headquarters and ordered some of the “TRUMP” recyclable straws. It’s my understanding from articles I’ve read the campaign has made a small fortune on them. I suspect the Trump campaign people didn’t realize how popular they’d be. I wonder how many were sold in California, and soon to be NYC?

  2. Last year….. don’t tell anyone, but…. I bought 10 large bags of plastic straws from the local grocery store. This was of course, before the BAN.
    Regarding this Climate Wingding in Italy. Good grief. We are living in hilarious times
    Thank you for this timely report on the higher liberal elites. I am happy for the hotel.
    Hopefully they will make a pile of money and experience a lot of laughs too

    • I am sorry comrade, but now that you have confessed your acts of polyethylene sabotage against the over educated proletariat mob, I will have to report you to the central committee for plastic safety.

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