The Illustrated Primer

Anguished English

 

Yaacov Apelbaum - Anguished English

“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” (from Measure For Measure)

Getting bombarded by Phishers is no fun, but sometimes, these communications offer some comic relief. This posting is dedicated to the anguished English and linguistic jewels they produce. May the tormented ghost of Shakespeare continue to sabotage their exploits.

Here are my top ten favorites:

  1. Starting the message in one language and then switching to another, as in “Dear Cliente,”
  2. Getting subject-verb agreement wrong, as in “Your account just make…”
  3. Poor punctuation, as in “Due to concerns, for safety and the integrity…”
  4. Nonsense content, as in “Most of your data in our database were encrypted…”
  5. Poor formatting, such as missing a space after a period. That’s right.
  6. Wrong capitalization as in “This is the Last reminder…”
  7. Poor grammar, as in “If this message was sent as Junk or Spam, it’s just an error…”
  8. Excessive use of exclamation marks, such as “Update Required!!”
  9. Poor spelling, as in “It has come to our [our] attention that…”
  10. Failure to do basic arithmetic accurately, as in “$254.99 + $20.00 = $374.99.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

References and Sourcing
XRVision Sentinel AI Platform – Face recognition, image reconstruction, and object detection

© Copyright 2016 Yaacov Apelbaum, All Rights Reserved.

Exit mobile version