The Illustrated Primer

Anguished English


Yaacov Apelbaum - Anguished English

“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.” (from Measure For Measure)

Getting bombarded by Phishers is no fun but sometimes these communications offer some comic relief. This posting is dedicated to the anguished English and linguistic jewels they produce. May the tormented ghost of Shakespeare continue to sabotage their exploits.

Here are my top ten favorites:

  1. Starting the message in one language and then switching to another as in “Dear Cliente,”
  2. Getting subject verb agreement wrong as in “Your account just make…”
  3. Poor punctuation as in “Due to concerns, for safety and the integrity…”
  4. Nonsense content as in “Most of your date in our database were encrypted…”
  5. Poor formatting as in missing a space after a period.that’s right.
  6. Wrong capitalization as in “This is the Last reminder…”
  7. Poor grammar as in “If this message sent as Junk or Spam, its just an error…”
  8. Excessive use of exclamation marks as in “Update Required!!”
  9. Poor spelling as in “It has come to out [our] attention that…”
  10. Failure to do basic arithmetic accurately as in “$254.99 + $20.00 = $374.99”









References and Sourcing
XRVision Sentinel AI Platform – Face recognition, image reconstruction, and object detection

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